Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
God, I missed his penis.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
