Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
