Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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