My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
