you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
