got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
