Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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