In the future we'll all be gay
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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