Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
