That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
