Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
