the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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