id be glad to
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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