So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
