Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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