adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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