it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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