Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
