My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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