Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
