Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
BRING THE BAGELS
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
