it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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