suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
