I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
