Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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