Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
