i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Alive.
So much puke
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
