This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
