I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
