my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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