My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My breasts were aching with rage.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
His nipple licking is glorious
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