I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
