I wannas sexs uuuuu
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
