Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
