I think I am morally bankrupt
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
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