my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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