wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
