i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
