i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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