I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
