hell yes lets make some ravioli
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
