Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
