Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
