yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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