The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
