The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
