hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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