There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
