Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
