last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
