put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Are we still banned from the library?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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