just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
