just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
