She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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